Wednesday, July 02, 2014

A Mean, Mean Note

You've made it amply known and how
That you're surrounded all the time
By fan mails and admirers and crazy flying objects
I'm not saying that's a crime

But surely you're competent enough to know
And it doesn't take Holmes-type detection
Your updates are packed with fizz and froth
But your toxic persona needs more conviction

One day, I thought I'd have a seizure
When you went on for hours about your phone
Then I heard you talk about some campaign you cracked
And it was as insufferable as a kidney stone

Much like a corporate brochure you sound
Brimming with lofty vision statements
And your pathetic attempts at being humble
Are just as forced as in-film placements

Am I being mean, yes undoubtedly
I'm a bad penny, I feel no remorse
And much as you're bound to be fit and fantastic
In being nicer, I'll take a refresher course.

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